Physique Language at Work And Past

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Right here’s a little bit of an odd query as we speak: how delicate are you to physique language, at work and past? For instance, do you’re feeling like you possibly can pinpoint a mansplainer from throughout the room by how he sits, or if he strikes sure poses? Do you’re feeling like adopting sure physique language helps clean communication in unstated methods? Do you keep away from sure physique language (palms on hip, arms crossed) since you really feel prefer it has unfavorable connotations?

We’ve talked about how you can get a poker face at work, in addition to mentioned the (now-debunked, I imagine) fantasy of the facility pose as a strategy to overcome imposter syndrome… however I don’t suppose we’ve talked about this.

Right here’s the idea for my query: many, many moons in the past I used to be in an interview with a fellow who rested each palms on his head, leaned again, and proceeded to be a whole jerk to me. Hilariously (to me, on the time at the least), he had an assistant sitting in on the interview, and when The Jerk adopted this pose, so did the assistant (who was additionally male).

(In my reminiscence his palms had been clasped on prime of his head, not behind his head, however the inventory photograph is shut sufficient…)

Was the assistant aware of this mirrored pose? Was he doing it deliberately to attempt to say, “I’m one in all you,” or maybe “I’m extra such as you than she is.” Was the preliminary pose a play for dominance or one thing, in that he was taking over area? Had he determined in some unspecified time in the future in his youth that this was a “considerate” pose, and he pulled it out for moments when he had Opinions to Share?

On my finish, I sort of puzzled what would occur if I additionally adopted the pose whereas sitting within the interview. Would all of us begin laughing about it? Would they suppose I used to be mocking them? Or would they not even notice I had finished it and but slowly start to suppose “hey, I preferred her greater than I believed.”

Within the a few years since this interview (which I didn’t nail), I’ve typically considered this pose and that interview.

I’ll admit I’ve adopted it in some uncommon conditions, primarily in conditions just like the one through which I first skilled The Pose — I’m pressured to be sitting with somebody in an interview or work state of affairs, and I don’t just like the particular person or what they’re saying, so I simply casually put my palms on my head and lean again.

In my thoughts I’m saying the entire issues that I felt that interviewer was saying to me way back — isn’t it cute that you’ve got opinions? can we finish this factor but? wow you’re nonetheless speaking — however possibly that way back interview has without end soured me on The Pose, and completely regular, considerate folks undertake The Pose on a regular basis.

So — bizarre query, sure — however what physique language communicates one thing to you? Individuals who stand approach too shut to speak to you, individuals who unfold their legs after they sit to take up more room, individuals who put their palms on their heads and lean again? Do you typically end up adopting sure folks’s physique language in intentional methods?

On the flip aspect, do you keep away from some physique language as a result of in your thoughts it’s speaking one thing dangerous? For instance, placing your palms in your hips, crossing your arms — I really feel like even arranging your face a sure strategy to keep away from RBF sort of matches this description.

Inventory photograph by way of Deposit Images / Wavebreakmedia.